About Me

Sunday, June 18, 2017

a little bit more

today is a day to spam awesome nuest songs! and also to hope i dont get called back... haha


You appeared in my dream last night again
When I opened my eyes, I see a spot on my pillow
That is stained with tears
The day you left me
Your birthday, I can’t forget these days
When those un-erasable days come
I float up a hidden picture of you in the corner of my heart
If only I can see you just one time

this bit is SO APPROPRIATE for nuest - "wait for me just a little bit more/ i'm sorry i could not protect you"

currently thinking of how i can buy or stream their songs (in a way that would be counted to make them rise up korean charts hahah)

i am also totally not going to watch anymore of these kpop survival shows anYmore. esp for boy groups. get waY too attached ++++

Saturday, June 17, 2017


bts jin - awake 
It’s not that I believe it
But that I want to try holding out
Because this is all that I can do
I want to remain
I want to dream more
Yeah it’s my truth
It’s my truth
Still, I want to struggle and fight

I’m just walking and walking, among this darkness
My happy times asked me this question
You, are you really okay, it asked me
Oh no
I replied, no, I’m so afraid

Maybe I, I can never fly
I can’t fly like the flower petals over there
Or as though I have wings
Maybe I, I can’t touch the sky
Still, I want to stretch my hand out
I want to run, just a bit more

bts - wings
Take me to the sky

Remember when I was a child
I didn’t have big worries
This small feather was going to become my wings
And with those wings, I was going to fly
I believed and I was full of faith
And laughter

(Like a bird)
I went down a path people told me not to
I did things people told me not to
I wanted things I should not want
I would be hurt, hurt again
It’s to sprout my wings
I believe in you, I may be weak now
But in the end, it will be an incredible jump
Fly, fly up in the sky
Fly, fly get ’em up high
This is the path you chose dude, don’t doubt yourself
This is only the first flight uh

I fly, I fly, I fly
Higher than higher than
Higher than the sky
Spread spread spread my wings
Wings are made to fly fly fly
If my wings could fly

thoughts on the produce101 show ive been live watching every friday. HAHA i didnt know i would get SO attached to all the guys! #fangirl. i REALLY want to buy a melon streaming pass and stream nuest songs nonstop however i dont own an apple device so i can't dhdlhdflghdflghd SO ANNOYD. nevertheless i will totally buy their album (somehow) when they comeback! i also went to all the nuest members instagrams and messaged them HAHAHA super fangirl. like 10,000 other people who did exactly the same thing. ah well. WHAT DO I SAY, just have a comeback nuest and show mnet when you guys win #1! also one of my favs kang daniel got #1 and i really like yoon jisung too so that was great! but obviouslY heartbroken for jonghyun and dongho. ESP DONGHO whom i REALLY SUPER LIKE. ok anyway.

nuest- overcome

love you guys nuest!!
ok back to normal programming IE thoroughly slacking at home and enjoying my day off!

Thursday, June 15, 2017

spring day

more BTS good stuff

v and j hope's cover of hug me - original song by jung joon il

I couldn’t win over my upset heart
again I’m enduring the dark and sleepless nights
without regard for my despair
the morning indifferently wakes me

the wound burns more than expected
the hurt goes deeper than expected
the countless nights of resenting you are like hell to me

if you go one step further away like this
I can just take one more step and that’s enough

I thought about you thousands of times a day
the unforgiving words that you said to me
that icy gaze and those cold expressions

you were an incredibly pretty person
you were an incredibly pretty person
please don’t be like this to me, you know me well

j-hope's rap part:
the words that you said so lightly at that time
made it so light, our relationship
I didn’t know that ‘being used to it’ would be scarier than anything
I don’t know your heart, up until we ultimately said a goodbye full of regret
as the days pass it gets bigger, the empty space you left
even if we
give water to our flower bed that used to be so beautiful, the
full blooms have all become nothing but memories
only the scent of loneliness gushes forth
if I could see you again I,
i want to show you everything I have
I want to convey it all to you, I
for real for real
until you hold this sincerity in your embrace once again

and a very pretty wintery mv, conversely named spring day HAHA

I miss you
Time is so cruel
I hate us
Now it’s hard
To even see each other’s faces
It’s only winter here
Even in August, winter is here

My heart makes time run
Like a Snowpiercer left alone
How much longing
Has to fall like snow
For the spring days to come?

Like a small piece of dust
That floats in the air
Did you change?
Or did I change?
I hate even this moment that is passing
I guess we changed
I guess that’s how everything is

Yeah I hate you
Although you left
There hasn’t been a day
That I have forgotten you

Honestly, I miss you
But now I’ll erase you
Because that will hurt less
Than resenting you

I’m blowing out the cold you
Like smoke, like white smoke
I say that I’m gonna erase you
But actually, I still can’t let you go

Snowflakes are falling
Getting farther away

You know it all
You’re my best friend
The morning will come again
Because no darkness, no season
Can last forever

Cherry blossoms are blooming
The winter is ending
Past the end of this cold winter
Until the spring comes again
Until the flowers bloom again

so far away/ dream

really into BTS these days!!
suga's so far away is lovelyy

on a random note, i was really happy to do my 2nd M&R under bier's block with ultrasound confirmation ytd with the help of a SUPER NICE con!!! MUCH thanks to the resus pple who let me do it even tho they had loads of manpower and could have prolly done it themselves hahah. altho i super did not meet my quota after that as it was uber chill and i had to literally stalk the triage ecg room to get my patients and push the pts into cc myself, NO REGRETS coz i learnt a lot (plus the alignment on repeat xray was PERFECT so very very happy!!). ok maybe i will regret it later when they tell me i am very slow wahaha. oh WELL. LEAVE IT TO GOD. at least i did something cool today. i mean ive done quite a few m&rs by now (probably abt 5? and i think most of them have quite good alignment except maybe only one had liike just acceptable alignment only). but it was just SO cool with the ultrasound conformation like im pulling the hand and from behind i hear a loud "WHOAA" as everyone looks at the us machine. hahaha so THANK YOU to one of the nicest cons EVER. literally my hero!

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

i'm with you/ i know you and i we can make it through make it through

"I'm With You"

Here am I
I’ve tried to live without You
It's the reason that I feel so far away
I understand
You see everything I go through
and listen to the broken words I pray

I know You hear me
I know You're answering me saying

Fall in my arms and let me carry you carry you
I know you and I, we can make it through make it through
When crashing waves pull you down in the undertow
Reach out your hand and I swear I won't let you go
I'm with you tonight

All this time You've been walking here beside me
Waiting for the day I'd call your name
So Here am I walking through the darkest valley
Shine down Your light so I can see

You know I'm weary
I know You're calling out to me

Fall in my arms I will carry you
I know you and I will make it through
All who need rest all who are lonely
Come to me now and just let it go

current song on repeat
perfect pre d-day song


if we've ever needed you/ it's now

"If We've Ever Needed You"

Hear our cry, Lord we pray,
Our faces down, our hands are raised,
You called us out, we turned away,
With ship wrecked faith, idols rise,
We do what is right, in our own eyes,
We need Your light, Lord, shine Your light. 
If we've ever needed You, Lord, it's now, Lord, it's now, 
We are desperate for Your hand, we're reachin' out, we're reachin' out.

All our hearts, all our strength,
With all our minds, we're at Your fate,
We need You now

"always enough"

In the dry and weary land
Lord, You are the rain
In a sea of shattered ones
Your love comes rushing in

You hold the world within Your hands
And see each tear that falls
Through every fire and every storm
You're always enough, always enough

Your love is peace to the broken
Your love is the anthem of nations
Rings out through the ages
And You're always enough for me

In the watches of the night
Lord, You are my song
Hope is in the morning light
Your love shines like the dawn

You keep my heart in perfect peace
My life is in Your hands
When confusion hides my way
You're always enough, always enough

spamming casting crowns songs
i don't really know what to say. 
but i guess these songs say it well enough. 
one day i will come out of this storm. i hope. HAHA. 
meanwhilst ive learnt to withstand the storms of this life. praising God in the storm, that's gotta be my specialty. 
i guess there are many many things i pray for and many things i hope for and many things i fear, and it seems like no matter how many years pass in the end it's still the same me (hopefully the original me had some good points since it seems like no matter how i run i cant run away from myself HAHA). 
amongst the many things i pray for (topmost being BEING A GOOD DOCTOR cos its actually reeally hard and so many things to know and do. but im lovin the process by itself.), it would be good if i could survive tomorrow's exam. not sure what it means by survive but i guess passing would be really good. 
whether i deserve it or not, not very sure bout that. these days i dont really know what is the definition of deserving. of miracles. 

"one more day/ he will make a way/ let Him show you how
i'm not strong enough
can He find me here?
can He keep me from going under?
oh my soul,
you are not alone
there's a place where fear has to face the God you know"

swallow all the fears and worries, and do what i can with the next twentyfour hours
i'll do what i can, and God will do the rest
and all things will work for His good

even this, even this will be made beautiful

i'll put my trust in that. 

Monday, June 5, 2017

beautiful times

"Beautiful Times"
(feat. Lindsey Stirling)

A spark soaring down through the pouring rain
And restoring life to the lighthouse
A slow motion wave on the ocean
Stirs my emotion up like a rain cloud

When did the sky turn black?
And when will the light come back?

I fought all through the night
Oh, oh, but I made it alive
The sun's starting to rise
Oh, oh, these are beautiful times
This fight of my life is so hard, so hard, so hard
But I'm gonna survive
Oh, oh, these are beautiful times
sounds like a good night shift song HAHA.
#i fought all through the night, oh oh but i made it alive