About Me

Thursday, March 31, 2011

CSFC: Week 1

Monday: Very lost in Big Great Hospital. Nice senior gives us cardio tutorial as tutor isn't around. Lunch in kopitiam with cg, fulfilling one of my lifelong dreams HAHA. We hover nervously at the wards but manage to share one respi examination between the three of us.

Tuesday: Turns out there is some admin issues and they need to split up our subcg :( I join our sister cg for a rather good respi tutorial with a respi doctor who goes into great detail about the percussion findings of pneumothorax and consolidation etc. The other two go for an abdomen tutorial, the details of which are sadly lost to me forever lol. We get a new tutor! Who is very pro and cool. C and me clerk some abdominal patients with hepatitis etc. Don't eat cockles, folks... We join the ranks of whitecoats clustering in the hallways over casenotes and shamelessly ask seniors for goodcases (me mostly ahah)

Wednesday: Ward rounds at 7am instead of 8.30am! With an onco doctor actually, thereby going a full circle from pre-med school days haha lovely bookending there. Good lesson on observational skillz. I then join the other two for trailing behind our other tutor for ward rounds, feeling like a blur duckling. Then we have a respi tutorial. Lesson learnt: Be nice to your patient. HAHA. Then sit in on department meeting which was interesting + now we know all the GI MOs so we can ask them to help us find cases ;p

Thursday: While doing a respi exam on a random dude our tutor chances upon us and gives us an unplanned (read: never read up) neuro tutorial. note to self: DO PRONATOR DRIFT!! After lunch, we have an interesting time ;p clerking cardio patients. Met a patient with SLE! The GI MO recommends us a really nice lady who we chat to for vv long and who has lots of signs + excellent history. And who really just basically wants some people to chat to. So it worked out awesome. :)

Friday: Have rather fruitful time clerking a variety of cardio patients cos our tutor asked us to prepare for a cardio tutorial. Including patients with heart attacks, pacemakers etc (eh this is so common there's no ethical issues in saying this right LOL). got rather owned anyway which is per normal cept actually i know this stuff i just didnt know it was required okay its not like anyone is gonna read this and hereby i redeem myself ahah nvm i'll just do it properly next time yo). note to self, never go first for stuff again. HAHA. not that im shy per se just that reduces chances of getting owned. HAI nevermind just that usually i get commended for presenting stuff (as opposed to say, solving mathematical equations) but its a learning curve so yeah will take criticism :) This actually bugged me for awhile but then I figured that this is the best time to make mistakes & never forget it so all's good. Had a abdo history taking tutorial too which was really ah, detailed on the causes of every single abdo symptom, even the classes of anaemia?!! lol. We heard some murmurs over these few days & I'm getting better at sorting out which type of murmur it is so it's good :) Did at least 1 cardio exam & history taking i think. BUT I ALWAYS LEAVE OUT SYSTEMIC REVIEW. and hobbies and pets. hahaha

Saturday:
yes lol we had to go back for tutorial. on cardio exam i think, err since we're not allowed to take notes actually all i remember is my tutor presents very impressively. oh and one must make exaggerated movements to check for scars.

Lots of thoughts but LACK OF SLEEP generally. Clinical medicine is so different, and so much more tiring. I can't really remember what I thought it was supposed to be like, but I'm really enjoying it! Also the getting to dress up bit. Heh. Nah, I'm kidding lah. I really like that I'm learning so much & I love the hospital environment (from the doctor's pov not the patient's of course). And the balance between sign hunting & just taking the time to chat to patients is really important I feel.

Like my cg mate is really so kind & concerned for the patient even though half the patients she interviews seem to distract her/ have atypical random symptoms but she still takes the time to talk to them coz she is genuinely genuinely interested & wants to chat to them... wow I just felt so humbled today.

PS I dont run away from patients or interrupt them, I usually read the casenotes beforehand to preselect patients ;p haha. its better if you want to see signs! So far I've seen all the usual stuff lah like ascites, shifting dullness, jaundice, purse-lipped breathing (emphysema), pitting edema, peripheral cyanosis. Also some random stuff like herpes zoster opthalmicus, tricuspid regurgitation, etc. And also sle signs. Sigh I really feel bad for that patient though ><

Anyways so yes I think the main point thus far is that: I may think I know alot coz I did the OSCE last time after yr2 but there is actually lots of other random stuff *cough pronator drift* & I need to brush up on the 94 page csfc guide! But ultimately, I'm just really happy to be doing a clinical posting. I come back everyday more tired than I've ever been, but also freaking happy like never before :D

Thursday, March 24, 2011

sedar meal

today was such an amazing day :)

i initially went with the plan of helping out my friends whom i know put a lot of effort into preparing this. i didnt go with the plan of replicating anything, soul-searching, finding happiness, etc. and like i knew i had some church stuff on halfway so i would be missing out on the most important part of the event; i fully expected to just go, do saikang, and miss out on the main point. i mean, it's better than bumming at home and stoning away my rare free hols right?

wow, was it so much more than that. im writing this here, so i dont forget the things which are quickly slipping away. nooo!!

in no particular order
1. the cars getting locked in the basement carpark. HAHA. clare to me "wow you're so calm, i must learn from you!!" *look of respect for senior* hohoho duh cos it wasnt my car locked in there!
2. the nice guy who sent me all the way back who i never even saw before today. truly the final icing on the cake. as in its just a nice gesture from a senior but it was like the perfect touch to a really good day spiritually & emotionally & socially etc :) and this is even after getting his car locked in!
3. realizing that i've climbed mountains and rowed boats and partaken of fruits of the vine and ultimately the happiest place in the world i can find true peace is... at the top of a flight of stairs in church, right where all these thoughts of Medicine even starting coming to mind

4. THE BREAD. i never want to see an onion ever agaiN
5. that said, my baking skillzz (measuring the flour, etc) & cooking skillz (FRYING ONIONZ ZOMG) were really put to good use today so i am Pleased
6. the hilariously salty onion mixture that btw, i was NOT responsible for lol. edmund "i think nicole and i may have been distracted and put too much in" lol understatementt. (but the final product when disguised with a lot of honey was suuuper yummy) and annthea determinedly using flour/ honey to make the sample to prove to us it was edible.
7. nicole/ edmund arguments & flour wars & amoeba-like bread. "oh the amoeba's becoming oval! maybe it's evolving" "actually if it's amoeba we dont need to make anymore bread, it should reproduce by itself" oh the possibilities ;p

8. the end result: a really pretty romantic candlelight dinner with rose petals! (i arranged the cutlery :):)) and lamb/ matzo bread/ cinnamon apples & sultanas & grape juice & wasabi (yea that last one is bit random)

9. the washing of the feet (i managed to make it back for this yey haha. i was totally surprised cos i didnt really know the exact plan & it was dark and the rods/cones whatever hadnt adapted yet) it was pretty too with candles!
as the guys were washing my feet, they were having random conversation
them "actually ah, we should wash our hands after this."
me: LOL my feet arent that dirty!!
them: "nono we mean we've just washed all these other people's feet as well!"

10. the scary fire stove & getting kicked out of church at 11am

the reading was also really appropriate. the egypt thingy.

to sum it up, the first time i really started feeling the presence of God and not going to church only coz it was mandatory, was on maundy thursday (the day they wash the feet) sometime when i was sec 3/4. i followed the candle-bearer until i couldnt see him anymore. i searched for him in the crowd, but he was lost. i remember, that day, feeling the church go absolutely dark when they carried the sacrament out, and then i knew that was the absence of God. isnt it so true, that when you dont have something, then you know what it felt like to have it?

today, i sat on the steps not far from where i was searching in the crowd. but now in bright sunlight, knowing there were friends all around in the garden/ grotto. i realized that the perfect life i yearn for so much is not perfect if medicine is not inside it. i saw the meaning of everything thus far, written perfectly in the clouds for me

later... slipping into the room, it seemed dark at first, then i saw the candles. people were sitting all around the sides. they washed my feet.

it was like a full circle. i didnt need to look for the candlebearer whose feet were being washed, anymore. i didnt need to hunt for the light going far away in the distance

the light was finally where i was too

Monday, March 21, 2011

a piece of cake

to sum it up: my baking capability is much less than my desire/ liking for it

and it is certainly no piece of cake lol

but i'm going to tryyy cos its worthit :) oh boy is it ever

sooo sleepy

dont wanna see a thumbdrive for a while now

anywayS right after i made the decision that from here on i'm going to be happy, thank you very much lotsa good things happened :):)

bought pretty shoes & clinical wear and pretty much felt like a princess which is by the way, rather rare for me LOLOL. its not the material accquisition of things so much as the actual trying on which was uber uber fun plus i actually found stuff that looked nice & fit me & wont get me thrown out of hospitals (hopefully?!) and lots of awesome stuff that is inappropriate SIGH but anyway i had such a ball of a time trying on clothes it was a super happy day!! NOW i get what they mean by retail therapy hee

also settled (kindof) some stuff so ehh hope it works out.
tues - cg outing
weds- cms passover meal :) + lector's prep (errr how to dress for both!?!)
thurs/ fri baking baking (thurs choc cake fri cinnamon rolls?!) (scones/macarons HOW when gah)
sat - celebs
sun - simba interview + reading
monday - sgh at actually i dont know what time lol

Saturday, March 19, 2011

newsflash

you can never please everyone

so better not to try!!

Post-Exam Traditions

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

RG: Taka for brownies/ lunch/ kino/ prom shopping/ borders/ starbucks

RJ: actually, i cant remember. i can only remember rushing to the library after each paper to prepare for the next. HAHA. or calling my friends immediately to bitch about the papers.

Edin: usually post-exam batch lunch (first year great wall, 2nd year tangs) + pccf picnic <3 sg: vivo!! lunch + movie + wandering around vivo thereafter :) today also GONGCHA was involved & we went around looking at sooo many pretty clothes floaty frilly and forever 21 (HAHAHA i realised both me & hanyu are 21 now so we'd better buy more from there this year) and trying makeup. then i had the most glorious sleeep of my entire life & am now watching tv until 2am. in a sort of HA life i dont have to finish 2 lectures before i sleep for the FIRST TIME IN A VERY LONG WHILE nor do i have to plan my day ahaha

anyway yeah as always, exam fears & nervousness.
but i defo got the opioid one - despite not knowing any of the other drugs, opioids DEFINITELY cause constipation so huzzah to me there. i

and i'm so grateful to everyone who has made my life thus far so incredibly awesome. postexam traditions somehow exemplify it really well coz you sorta tend to spend immediate pre-exam and post-exam time with the people you are closer to. i include prexam coz the reccent mad mugging outside the sports hall is quite memorable HAHA. i think that having the great memories in themselves is sometimes the best thing that can happen. cos that means you were happy all along!

here's to one week of total freedom, then clinicals!!!!!!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

nematodes

trichuris trichuria always makes me think of trying hard. haha.

i got a cookie today yay! and friends friends people. so funny exam day is like socializing day yo

no la to be honest i think that either life is messing with me or i'm meant to understand the meaning of Friendship. i dunno i think its just tt i expect to be really good friends with people i meet randomly coz thats the way it always happened. and i need my mojo back coz i get it then i realise, i mean absolutely nth to them then that's upsetting. btw i am NOT unsatisfied with my friends i mean they are sweet etc just that i guess people find random encounters random but i dunno thought it was quite genuine i'm just used to collecting friends or something it shouldnt really matter but somehow it does. or maybe it's person specific? HAHA.

on that note, i think cheehoe counts as a random friend (ie, one i befriended randomly) but he's still really nice so ok it isnt ALL that bad. but then hes in my og la so that doesn't -entirely- count lol!

but today was a nice day despite teh exaM

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Lent

last year, my lenten penance was this:

to endure misunderstandings from others with peace of mind, suffer
without self-pity, putting up with discomfort or distaste without becoming
bitter about what you are tempted to consider injustice on the part of
God, being more generous about doing what you know what God
wants you to do, although it is painful.

got it off some random site, didnt come up with it myself. i think all things considered, it is a great idea theoretically. esp since these are really all things we struggle with everyday in life. i cant really remember what transpired last lent to be honest, but i doubt i fulfilled this perfectly LOLOL. nevertheless it was a worthy resolution to have made. better than the one in year one... which... okay i shall not share it here. HAHA. we spent an entire cny dinner laughing over that & associated things. fun times :)

havent really thought of this year's, nor started anything. on ash wednesday i was studying randomly with some people who happened to be fasting, so having not brought much food to school anyway i just went along with it... until i bought a muffin. LOL so moving on...

this mugging season indeed feels like (more than) 40 days of lent, but im certain im meant to do more, since i can hardly sit on my non-existant laurels and just bum it away... so enforced torture isnt really lenten discipline per se...

i want this lent to be a happier person. not as in internally, so much as bringing happiness to people. alot of the time we get so caught up in our own daily shennigans and confusions that you dont really think of the effect you have on others. its not about the big choices you make in life, although those are great. it's about the everyday joy you choose to bring. it might sound easy but uh- actually, not really. also, i'm THINKING of giving up coffee, and i will certainly try right after exams but yknow if ii am completely unable to function during cfsc (read: fall on my face asleep, narcolepsy-style) uhmmm i think God wants me to pass cfsc and not gain notoriety yep.

so in short: MORE HAPPINESS, LESS COFFEE
eh. do these two even go in concert. its gonna be a hard time ><

right back to the grinddd

headphones

what really gets to me

is how i dont even have a right. i dont have a right over ANYTHING. nothing belongs to me anymore.

my past isnt under my control anymore than i can change other people's past. not that i really want to. but for everyone, their past controls their present, see?

that is the fundamental problem here.

bluebird

is there a version of the story where they search everywhere, realise the bluebird of happiness was with them all along, then released the bird?!

clearly, there is.

well this is just part 100 of the story in which, everyone gets a happy ending. well. an ENDING, at any rate. in which everything is rather well-conceived, actually, i must say. i sound quite sarcastic now but trust me when i say that really things are falling astoundingly well into place. like it was always gravity's wish it'd be this way.

theres more but this isnt rly the right time or place.

just wanna say that in my life, i have really done alot of stupid stupid things. and i know sometimes God can save me but sometimes he can but he... he doesn't. i dont even know anymore which are the stupid things, which are his plans, and which is his intervention anymore. i suppose it wouldnt be so exciting if i didnt make mistakes, but...

Monday, March 14, 2011

gratitude

by nichole nordeman
Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

(Chorus)
We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain

Oh, the differences that often are between
What we want and what we really need
So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case . . .
(Chorus)

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace

But Jesus, would You please ...
~
her songs are really touching. i think what really struck home is the part where she was singing about it being okay if there was no roof over her head, cos the starry sky is better anyway. esp in context of all the japan stuff, i think just stuff we really take for granted. just the fact that we are all under one roof right now (and that there is a roof hahah) is actually pretty amazing. dont think i ever forget that for one second. (i didnt include it in the above lyrics coz there is, thankfully, a ceiling above. lol)

what i wanna take away from the past few days is this: the epiphany that certain things i didn't like too much actually happened for a reason. its easy to say nice people doing nice stuff for you is godsent and so forth - Duh. it's the less savoury parts that actually, in my experience, lead to the greatest miracles. er i dont really understand the reasons yet but i;m sure i will, someday, hahaha

and more importantly, if i hadn't felt this way again (and i havent, in a looong time) i wouldn't have had this experience today. i guess i didnt know it meant THAT much to me. why did it? i have. no. idea. at. all. i suppose, like i figured, this is going to be Important, in some way. people don't just walk into your life for no reason at all. infact, the more randomly they walk in, the more you can probably be sure they're going to have a great impact on your life. even if i never think about this again, even just for today, it changed many things. how can something that goes so close to the myocardium change your entire outlook, bring you closer to God, etc, i don't know. but i'm not complaining coz there's plenty of stuff which has brought me away, and until i dont know whether it's worse to go to stuff for people or to not-go for stuff coz of people and until it just gets so entangled and messed up. so at least for this - it unequivocally brought me closer, even just for a day. what i'll do tomorrow - wow. i really have no idea. and hey - it's tomorrow already.

on another note her songs never fail to make me cry. seriously. every single song of hers, from i am to what if to every season to gratitide. and i know now that that night when i couldnt stop watching that vid and tearing, it wasn't for the wrong reason. coz all of her songs just have such heartfelt trust in brokenness and faith that you cant help it. so that makes me feel like a far less bad christian :)

Sunday, March 13, 2011

the bridge

sometimes it seems like i'm battling a dragon with a watering hose.

but that's not the point. i need to find the impossible path, and make it. i deal in impossibilities; it can't be that difficult.

but in any case, usually exams are times when i lose all my friends (btw to any of my friends reading this: jiayou!!) but now hahaha everyone is locking themselves up for a mugfest so it becomes LEGIT. nevertheless i havent seen everyone for a veryyy long time!! except prabs & hanyu when we did the birthdayy thing :) so yes -making- friends during this period is really rare. so yep i just want to thank God for the friends i made during this stressful period. they've really exhibited christian goodness& kindness & i am glad to have known them!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

just read waijia's latest blog entry. somewhere in the middle when she was talking about love, hope, miracles, and disney, i nearly started tearing. except im sitting in the middle of a library supposed to be studying worms so yes pokerface.

her blog is really inspiring :) kitesong.blogspot.com

ALSO I know i wanted to be a doctor without borders BUT I DIDNT MEAN "doctor with NO BORDERS TO GO TO COZ IT'S CLOSED DOWN' wail sob nooo dont close down borders!!!

Friday, March 11, 2011

:)

yay just had a bday thing for a friend which involved tiramisu cake & doraemon :) hope she liked it ahaha

and then there was KOI BUBBLE TEA

now happyyy

Thursday, March 10, 2011

dopamine

don't know how to get the point across without becoming cliched and this is the one thing possibly that it is IMPOSSIBLE, literally, to learn/ accept in life.
but if you dont get what you want, maybe that is for the good. no seriously. THINK ABOUT IT.

or you can just trick your dopamine reward system
that was preeetty much like a iv drug shot of PURE HAPPINESS
i wonder about the half-life though?
hmm considerations considerations

i thinkk that actually everything can be solved logically. as in, everything in life. mind over matter yknow

and why is sleep soo complicated. i mean, we just plonk down to sleep everyday, that's it, finito
guess what i'm saying is why is something so everyday (or everynight rather) in reality full of so many machinations

i love post breakfast cereal & i wish i had lots of money and could go watch plays everyday. my sekret wish is to be an amazing playwright. or i could maybe live in the westend/ near broadway SIGHS i dont even have a postpros holiday. or i could just be a neurosurgeon & find fulfilment that way, i could...

BLAHH

heel broke off when i was walking down the music library steps (new fav hangout), thenn i spent one hour waiting for the connecting bus WHICH DIDNT COME, I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHY. if i take it it will take me like 5 mins to get home so you can see why i was so pissed. plus i certainly didnt feel like mugging when carrying my laptop/ like 10 kg of notes/ while standing at the bus stop. oh well, nothing beats the time i sat outside the house for 3 hrs coz i forgot to bring my keys.... lol...

anyway i just don't do too well with unplanned transport delays. in fact i just dont like waiting in general. i'd rather take a one hour bus ride than wait to get picked up.

butbut!
1. got an sms which reminded me of the people who ARE very much here, literally :):) hehe. even tho exam-studying is taking over our lives, there is still Friendship! Allegiance! Etcetra! really gave me faith in the human race that did.
2. got a letter from nic! (well, long message. HAHA. in our day and age, same thing!) yayay now i know why people liked to write letters. much love nic!
3. & for the cms people, really thanks guys. it literally is different from pccf, but i still feel da love in a different way. in a very catholic way hahaha.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

this is the stuff

i lost my keys in the great unknown
and call me please coz i lost my phone
this is the stuff that drives me crazy
this is the stuff that's getting to me lately

might not be what i would choose
but this is the stuff you use

also i really need something amazingly good to happen to me very soon, but i think that unfortunately, the good thing has alr happened. so my life is immune from good happenings for at least the next year. oh dear goodness HOW AM I GOING TO SURIVIVE THAT

dont answer that

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

bubbletea

1. lucy who was my icp-grpmate/ ssc grpmate/ generally one of the british i actually know quite well is CONTINUING my (horrible) research project!!! yayyy! & if it all goes well, possible publication! i had alll but given up on that but this is AMAZING. unfortunately i cant remember any search terms, so i am quite doomed. but eh. at least there is LIGHT at da end of the tunnel! let's hope she comes to a far more meaningful conclusion than me. neuroscience ftw!

2. i was crazy-productive yesterday despite waking up at noon AND sleeping at 2am (as opposed to 4) AND went to the gym. WOW. also i know alot about fungi. try me. malassesia furfur!!

3. HYUN BIN IS SINGLE. no. do not fly to korea now. do not fly to korea now. hehe. just kidding.

4. guess what beverage i'm drinking now :)

5. watched an AMAZING episode of house last night. the one where he is commited to a psychiatric hospital. wow.

Monday, March 7, 2011

have your way

But you never said the road would be easy,
But you said that you would never leave.
And you never promised that this life wasn't hard,
But you promised you'd take care of me,

So I'll stop searching for the answers,
I'll stop praying for and asking,
I'll trust you God with where I am,
And believe you will have your way,
Just have your way,Just have your way

Remind me you take broken things
and turn them into beautiful.
-Britt Nicole

fire- 2ne1

antibodies keep attacking any facts about immunology that actually manage to cross the blood brain barrier

that explains why i am COMPLETELY unable to remember a single thing

just finished a lecture on nkfb. who knew it was actually a nuclear factor for b cells that mediates the making of the kappa light chain? hahaha if a qn comes out "describe the role of nfkb in inflammation/cancer" i think everyone will just die of shock. nah it wont come out. i dont know why i studied it either. except that i feel so insecure having unstudied notes. being myself, i even studied the corticosteroids stuff that ALREADY CAME OUT & i alr bombed.

sgh for cfsc, then fam med, then paeds etc.... COME ON YOU CAN DO THIIIS :)

Sunday, March 6, 2011

airplanes

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars
i could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now

who knew studying is hazardous. you can hit yourself against the study table and draw blood. LOL

im glad i went today for mass! it really does make things better. its not a transaction where i fulfil my -duty- & i get what i want magically, so much so as it just makes the week so much pleasanter, less frivolous, and the time spent better. and its only for an hour!

at least i'm still way behind on studying but happier so ehhh opiate of the masses, it's fine! give me a painreliever ANYDAY thanks

just now i looked at my shelf literally bending under the weight of davidsons, kumar & clarke's clinical medicine, rang & dale pharmacology, microbiology books, talleys, robbins pathology, neuroanatomy books etc and... i just wanted to take a snapshot of that and mail it to my sixteen year old self, standing in the dark listening to my senior tell us "today this seems like the worst thing that ever happened to you. but years from now, it will seem like nothing at all"

this is all interlinked really but then hai maybe fate? i dont know. i believe in trying my best whatever -fate- means.

anyway, had a rather amusing time studying with n & her friends (random med pple who always study in music lib) cos i needed to get the immuno notes from her. LOL they are hilarious pple. and i get a lot done, out of sheer peer pressure i think
me: oh yay i just finished vaccines
n: oh yay i just finished all of bacteria!!
me: *stabs self*
and haha its fun to gossip about all our mutual friends (seems like nearly whole of gep hahaha)

and strangely enough i met c at central library?! that's such a coincidence, considering both of us hardly ever go there. lol its just really really random

anyway im doomed la for ca but i just feel really happy
so ehhh dunno what to do
but im not complaining since reccently i spent the time going around like an angry hedgehog so THIS IS AN IMPROVEMENT
gogogo

Thursday, March 3, 2011

for when i am weak, then i am strong

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honourable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me - everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.
- Philippians 4:8-9
So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.
Galatians 6:9
Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10

these are all awesome, but the last struck home the hardest. "three different times i begged the Lord to take it away. each time he said, my grace is all you need. my power works best in weakness"

Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.
Lamentations 3:23

yesterday was not a sterling example of anything but productivity. maybe i was greedy. just wanted to do more than more. to break the records i had already broken. and so even though i did more than i usually do in one day, i was frustrated and angry by the end of the day. i guess that just shows (once again) that often what you want is not always the best. also it's quite ironic that repressing pissiness just makes you even more pissed.

but anyway, his mercies begin afresh each morning. today WILL BE BETTER.
just found this v upbeat & addictive song hehe and started dancing in the room. WHICH FACES THE ROAD. lol
good times good times! the day is looking goooood

light is sweet

Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near.
isaiah 55:6
If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that.
Matthew 5:46-47
how true. this may be the hardest thing in life.

Light is sweet; how pleasant to see a new day dawning.
ecclesiastes 11:7

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

sometimes you are being a grouchy cookie monster & its really best for everyone involved that you dont have any human contact

bad mood begoneeee :(

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

happiness

from the last episode of dream high (which i havent watched any of yet actually, hahaha)
Jin-gook: There are two kinds of happiness in the world. One is a happiness that you realize after the fact. The other is a happiness that you feel in the moment. The happiness in the moment is so rare that they say you can live your whole life on the light that shines from remembering it. I think we’ll go on remembering this moment, today, like that kind of happiness…that we can remember for the rest of our lives, the moment when we shined.

this is. SO. TRUE :):)