About Me

Friday, March 30, 2012

hartmann

some people are just really prolific, like hartmann, trendelenburg, etc...

2nd call!! i was all prepared to sleep on the couch in the MO room but the MO wanted to sleep there?! not really sure why, but i got to sleep in the room instead. wandering around the hallways of the departmental offices at ~330am, teh magic hour, made me feel rather as if it is v impt to have a bed to sleep in and a roof over one's head... lol.

all i need is the air i breathe
and a place to lay my head
 - one republic

also yest night on call i met some of the nicest surgeons like EVER. seriously. also i assisted in an appendectomy! and a hernia op! woot :D
today = RIDICUOUSLY sleepy. did NOT watch thyroidectomy. nvm haha pick & choose one's battles huh

plan
7-8 mcqs
8-930 run to botanics & back [im charging my ipod now]
930-1030 study scrotal swellings, lumps and bumps [all the basal cell carcinoma and misc skin stuffs]
1030-1130 read up on ecgs

sat
ecg day
ask people abt mcqs LOL

sun
dunno i guess ill study whatever takes my fancy, it's not like i can take a vacation to the bahamas right now...

mon
am - join new cases reg clinic for upper GI and beg/ wheedle/ implore whoever it is to sign my abdo and lumps & bumps mini cex, which would only leave me with vascular to knock out, which i'll prolly do on...

tues
which is chockablock with tutorials. it feels like im in ttsh
845 - radio tutorial
11- head & neck tutorial
2pm - mr y tut
3pm - tubes & drains tutorial

wed
revise. DUH.

thurs
thyroid clinic am/ castigate self for horrifying slackness during fam med. to be fair even if i tried to study types of sutures then im not sure if it would have gone in!?!

i really hope they ask the layers one must cut thru for appendectomy HAHA

anyway, v happy :) such a productive & nice call! was really lucky to meet such nice pple.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012


best kpop mv i have seen for a loong time! this just blows everything else out of the water.

in other news, i am very very sleepy & to say i am stressed would be an understatement. bahhh. oh well, today was not bad, hepatobiliary clinics then tutorial on jaundice then colorectal clinics. at least i'm not walking up and down the wards hunting for HO's, it could be worse!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

sunshine& kaya

1. diagnosed a neuro cond in clinic! :D
2. saw proctoscopy
3. did hernia mini cex and learnt where the deep ring is
4. auscultated for the creps in pulmonary fibrosis for the first time in my entire life
5. palpated lymph nodes + actually was able to name every single group of enlarged LN
6. felt splenomegaly for like the first time ever.
7. saw a choledoscope, t tube, dormia basket, and a biliary stent!
8. wrote the io/ hr/ bp etc in the case notes
9. clerked many many gastric outlet obstruction cases

PLAN
wed - some variation of hepatobil clinics where hopefully i get an abdo mini cex done?!,watch a surg [but i dunno any of the gastrectomy anatomy stuff so i might get burnttt aurgh and its nowhere in burkitts.] crash some hernia surgeries [but it's awkward enough standing around surgeries of people i am actually following, let alone a half of the team that i'm not following..] aurgh i really want to watch a hernia surgery, i find that when i watch this kind of stuff, the anatomy + pathophys gets imprinted into my mind better.
thurs - THYROID CLINICS + mini cex?!
friday - watch thyroid surgery?!
i'm just obssessed with thyroid stuff, because i dont have much exposure since i'm not attached to the head & neck team.
weekend - write writeup.

also i have been eating way too much kaya reccently, weightgain aside, is it bad to eat too much kaya?! haha. i wanted to run today but i fell asleep. and when i woke up, thanks to the tiptoeing during op-watching today, my calf muscles feel like they already ran. oh well.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

omg. the construction noise in the library...

also divert left sided/ right sided etc is driving me craaazy lol. & i'm not sure if im studying surgery or baking anymore with all the baking blogs i keep reading...

halfway point/ lost then found

guess it's just this... surgery thing. it's to be expected la.
anyway! it's always good to improve oneself :)

i desperately need to find time to run.....



leona lewis + one republic!!

why do we say things we can't take back
why do we miss what we never had

also i TOTALLY ate too much sushi yesterday whoops

Friday, March 23, 2012

funny stuff

also: studying diverticular disease at midnight bodes badly for my level of awakeness tmr. on the bright side, im beginning to love coffee& toast hehe

me recounting my call to my friends: i saw a venous abg also!
wahahaha for the uninitiated, abg stands for arterial blood gas, so....

me: *fumbling with taking blood pressure*
doctor: *takes up my student card to look at my name* eh __________,  i'm just asking you to take blood pressure only, not asking you to operate on a patient!

(note: for all the differences between grays anatomy and real life, i have to say the similarity is that the doctors do go to a&e ie 'the pit' to evaluate patients)


Thursday, March 22, 2012

i refuse to sell out & follow the ways of the worldlywise.
i'm just going to hold on to my conviction that im not doing this for fame fortune or prestige but because i am called to do this.
and yes it scares me no end that i DONT have aforementioned perfection/ achievements to my name. but then again, i guess pick & choose my battles. missing a few buses and taking a hike around town is fine, i know He will come through for me when i really need it.

ps: dear God, i think i really need this thing this time round, because although it will be a huge miracle if i get in without doing an iota of stuff beforehand, i think that i am willing to put in the work if only i get the chance to. - Me

also thank you for RM today, she was really such a dear!
and thank you for the email. i think i will show my gratitude for every email small thing though it might be, it means everything to me.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

a little on the soul

by wislawa symborska

what was real
and what scarcely seemed to be
in this auditorium,
stellar and substellar,
requiring tickets both to get in
and get out;
- list
why does this world prize worldly accquisition & accomplishments so much?
such things really just sicken me to the core. 

LITTLE ON THE SOUL

Periodically one has a soul.
Nobody has it all the time and forever.

Day after day, year after year
can pass without it.

It rarely assists us
in strenuous pursuits,
such as moving furniture,
carrying suitcases
or tromping through a road in tight shoes.

While filling in forms
and chopping meat
it usually takes the day off.

In a thousand of our conversations
it participates in one,
and not even necessarily in one,
preferring silence.

It's fussy:
it doesn't see us immediately in a crowd,
it sickens at our attempts at mere advantage
and the shrill clamor of business.
We can rely on it,
when we are certain of nothing,
and when everything seizes us.
It doesn't say where it comes from
and when it will disappear next,
But it clearly awaits such questions.

It looks like,
as much as we need it,
also it
needs us for something too.

sleepy

first REAL call. so exciting!

saw femoral abg, tracheostomy, exploratory lap, akpd, fluctuant neck lump, some rare syndrome, pancreatitis of the tail, sle, 1 code blue, mallory-weiss tear

and then learnt about breast recon at morning rounds

thanks to the kind mo who lent me his room and slept er i dont know where, i was able to stay over for the first time eveR. but seeing as it was 3am by then i think a bit too late to turn back my decision to stay over haha. so in the end i got ~2-3 hrs of sleep.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

rainbow cookies

when i saw that pop up in my email, it reminded me of the rainbow on the way home from church again. right after i wrote the post saying "i dont believe in rainbows anymore". sometimes it really feels like sunshine after the rain. God's promise, that the rain will never come like that again. if you just hold on to that, everything will be ok.

momentarily i chanced upon two things which evoke reminders of some things. expecting to feel a certain way, i was surprised to feel that i only feel a deep sense of peace.

maybe of hope, of assurance that some paths were so bramble, rosethorn filled, that i was not ever to go down them. of things i was being protected from that i couldnt even imagine. of mercies given that i was unworthy of, but given anyway. of past good things done when i felt like no one was around to say "welldone" or give me brownies for doing them, being finally, finally recognized by whom it really matters.

rainbow cookies... that just seems to exemplify everything happy in life. sugar-filled promises. the icing on the cake. whipping up happiness for everyone, watching Promises take shape; take on colors. i don't really know what the future holds, but when i remember that day, being so sleepy and not expecting any miracle or anything, just a usual sunday, going about the usual stuff, trying to hold myself together between one week and another

it gives me hope. i never believed in rainbows before that day, it never held even an iota of significance or poetic metaphoric importance. and so today, seeing even the words made me remember. it wasn't even just one. there were two rainbows, and they followed us all the way home.

Monday, March 19, 2012

sherlock

the reason why i do this reflection thingy is to convince myself that my days spent slacking off in the MO room arent a complete waste of time LOL. like seriously, i feel like i know the ho really well now after we keep meeting him in the MO room. BUT in my defence it was mbbs today so we were banned from the usual ward we frequent. yeah, i know, there are plenty of other wards around, but the activation energy to go to an unusual ward & clerk cases that are not the usual surgcases one expects to clerk during a surg rotation is really tooo high

anyway the front part of todayy was shudderingly slack, but it really picked up considerably after ~ 2pm

amongst other things, got an impromptu tutorial on hernias, saw some signs (which i think i'd better not describe here, but it was quite fun the 15mins clerking with t esp when he went into the wrong room and they were speaking some foreign lang and everyone was in confusion for some time), clerked a case of haematuria (due to an interesting cause!), bladder outlet obstruction (sy kept telling us it's AMAZING & we will NEVER SUSPECT what it is so for like 20mins yj and i were brainstorming all the uro/renal stuff that is rare like wilm's tumor/ posterior urethral valve/ all the GNs blablabla then in the end it is due to... a stone LOL), v good tutorial on stones! i think i understand the stone management and treatment much much better now! actually i dont know much abt stones either so im not sure why answers kept coming out of my mouth HAHA but its okay, can only be a good thingg.

then on the way back i was trying to look for a good case i saw on call & yj was randomly flipping files as i wrestled with the COW she found a case of a lovely patient with dysphagia. the funny thing is apparently the moment i introduced myself he already said his diagnosis but i didnt understand cos he was speaking chinese so in the end i managed to take a good history!

then i went for rpm and i was so late that i had to cycle on stage zomg. on the bright side, pretty hard to slack off.

on the dark side, it is eleven pm and tomorrow is another 6am wakeup call *sobs*. nevertheless, i conclude that i prefer productivity & seeing new stuff x100 to aimlessly wandering the wards, fruitlessly bugging hos for cases and having discussions with hos about Life (altho the ho really is a very lovely and kind person i have to say, we are always having all these boliao convos in the background as he is making all these impt phone calls lolol) & it really was v nice of him to take the time to teach us hernia today. really much appreciated :) i think i shall buy cookies for the kind hos when surg finishes, assuming i actually survive this rotation. oh and i am getting my writeup back tmr. apart from the fact i have no idea where to get it from, i think i am screwed coz practically everyone ignored the word limit so they have looong expositaries on surgical diagnosis/ investigations/ treatment and i have this sparsely worded, concise, spare, zen thing

PLAN
tuesday
- trauma teaching @ 730
- follow ward rounds til ~845
- 845- 945 radio tutorial on breast which i smartly suggested a patient for eh its such good findings okay well maybe g/ w/ t who saw the patient too can give the hx and i can zzzz
- 945-1030 - queue for some v strong coffee
- 1030-1130 tutorial on i dunno what so no time to prepare.
- 1130-2 slip into some vascular clinic
- 2-2.30 lunch + memorize mini-cexes
- 2.30-5 beg some kind soul to do my arterial & vascular mini-cexes + hopefully learn what is a venous star + brawny odema. i asked the friendly ho and he was like i dunno... five mins later he was telling us all about it and i was like "oh wow!" him "im reading off your computer screen" HAHA.
-5 -11 call!!

wednesday
- colorectal clinics?!
- watch breast surg? to this date i have only watched the removal of fibroadenomas, i havent watched sentinel lymph node things yet.
- must send off the thing. MUST

Sunday, March 18, 2012



perfection

ok actually the lyrics dont make much sense hahaha
but i liked these bits
til we finish we can't stop

that's why you're only at that spot

coffee&toast

today/ the past few days have been raining gently but i learnt that in life, there may be no such thing as a free lunch, but there is such thing as a free chocolate chip cookie.

two, in fact.

and to _____, thanks for that comment that really made my day. i think what was cheering was the genuiene-ness of it all

today i put all the stresses/worries in God's hands. strange how the prayer requests can multiply so much from just one week to another, it seems like just last week, no, it WAS just last week i went there and it was all thanksgivings and I LOVE SURG and etc etc and now it's like a shoppinglist of requests again, but can't be helped. i suppose enjoy the sunshine & all the jazz while it lasts ehh.

but in any case, i think that the fact that i have one lead at all, is definitely the stuff of miracles. i know its gonna be difficult following it up and the timing has to be right and aargh. but i will trust, i will.

three weeks down, five more to go.

good stuff
1. aaamazing combat class on saturday. i heart highkicks.
2. chocolate chip cookies
3. great teaching at friday's breast clinic. i actually really like having another student with me coz usually the tutors teach more. and it also pressures me to give less silly answers coz it looks embarrassing hehe

Friday, March 16, 2012

just one more second



this song really tugs at the heartstrings, you dont even have to understand the language.
luckily, as these random song lyrics say perfectly
it must've been a long time
long enough for these words to become colorless

things are moving so slowly into place......

also i officially hate electives.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

f scott fitzgerald's way of love

i wonder if you hurt like me

new 2am song! the gatsby fangirl in me approves heartily

there are crazy fast paced days (read: my first day in the breast team where i rounded, assisted during surgery, and followed the team on call), and days when things dont go as planned , but generally all round i see lots, so it's great!

a quick sampling
1. head & neck short case today
2. watched a thyroid fine needle aspiration
3. epigastric mass short case with yj
4. assisted in a breast surgery
5. watched my HO flush a drain
6. many many hernia cases in SDA thanks to the ho who actually smses us when the cases come in, wow. (i've learnt that in surg, no one smses/ calls you to be anywhere hahaha.)
7. sebaceous cyst (it has a punctum!)
8. incentive spirometer (you SUCK it, not blow it. Big lesson of exit round today)
9. choledochal cysts
10.  green 'malena' ie due to ferrous fumarate
11. breast pre-op cases
12. oriental cholangiohepatitis
13. polycystic kidneys (my newest obsession)
14. 3 stage operation for perforated diverticular disease (didnt actually see this but they were discussing at grand ward rounds)
15. CLO test for helicobacter pylori
16. enlarged parotid gland for inx
17. hasselbach's triangle

funny stuff
me *rushing about madly looking for cases*
a HO: wow you look really madman
me and yingjie: ...!?? LOL
HO: i mean your dress looks like mad men... you know, the tv show...

pwahaha

and i kept meeting the ho from my old team in the mo room today, and i was using the same comp every time. the second time he saw me at the comp he was like... have you not moved for the past three hours? the third time at 5pm he just came in and saw me and started laughing irrepressibly and then offered me DVT prophylaxis. lol FOR THE RECORD i went for exit rounds in between okay

Monday, March 12, 2012

the secret lives of bees

Copious amounts of sultana biscuits were consumed in the understanding of hernias. No animals were harmed, but one med student will have to run 21k at the next available opportunity. Fortuunately, this will not be at 5am as she aspires to help her HO record inputs and outputs and draw the abdomen tomorrow

Sunday, March 11, 2012

coconut muffins

so after much flailing about i turned on the comp (to research unfamiliar terms okaaay) and.... coconut muffins....and anyway it is now time to sleep and all i have ascertained about upper GI is that plummer-vinson syndrome is really common in middle-aged scandinavian women.

oranges

Was feeling v pleased at my productivity until it hit me that I hadn't started studying upper GI for my clinic tmr with a notoriously scary tutor, because I've only studied hbs being in the hbs team, uro for clinics and breast for the upcoming rotation. Preparing myself mentally for a slaughtering tomorrow.

conversation in the car
me: *dithering back and forth about life choices* ... to be a surgeon, you need a certain kind of personality [note, i censored this, i didnt quite say it in sucha pc way]]
my dad *kneejerk reaction*: oh that won't be any problem for you at all

omg wahahaha

anyway omg what is there to study for upper gi?! BGIT, PUD, okay covered some time ago, oesophageal stuffs like oesophageal ca/ achalasia/ gerd/ oesophagitis/ plummer-vinson syndrome (cramming like a mad woman now), gastric ca... that's it right?? wow i was SO content just now too. blehhh LIFE

relieving my (considerable) stress with tintin that sy passed me. and meihua also just emailed me a very reference-filled reply to my question about signet ring gastric ca. wow. cg-amazingness
yesterday was really brill, sitting in the warm sunlight with all the time in the world, reading up for my upcoming 2 weeks with the breast team. and then jazz combinations. and did i mention it started with cranberry almond cereal? and the day before that was call.

today... is dreary rain, the same old things coming up again, the same old wondering of why im not perfect enough to plug the holes other people make, wondering if i should even try to make up for shortcomings that arent my fault, but feeling too inhuman if i dont bother trying. knowing i have in the past, done plenty that technically should cover for forever, but no actually, it doesnt work that way. i'm sure it will be fine though.

haha on a random note,
the other day j asked me for a good case, and i was feeling guilty cos the other day i had been doing uro clinics the whole day so when he asked me i said i had nothing and he was like "you are in the hepatobiliary team. and you have no good case." [me: i haven't seen a patient the whole day!!] so i gave him a patient i personally had been DYING to clerk, btw, but since its post op i told him to take a history. hahaha so 1 hr later in the MO room i meet j and he practically howls "the patient you gave me, it was an incidental finding!!"

luckily he already knew the patient since actually it was from his own team hahahaha so its not like he spent hours clerking, not like c who in ttsh did an observed history taking from a patient with some haematological disorder discovered only on lab tests haHAHA and it was all in TAMIL when actually he only speaks hindi and anyway neither me nor our tutor understands what was going on and the whole time our tutor was dying to go home for some family dinner yes that was epic. i myself didnt know the diagnosis btw or i would have stopped him.

hahahh the trials of being a med student. although in the words of my ho "actually what do you do all day ah. i mean i was a student myself a few months ago but i've completely forgotten now" and "aiya its quite nice right, if you feel tired you can just put your head down and sleep and no one will call you. and if you feel sian, can just go home" rather telling of his innermost wish to sleep/ go home/ go home and sleep LOL. and of the ho from the other half of my team, overheard "actually i've lost track of what day it is already".

jokes aside, i love this, times one hundred.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

some things

i have seen/ done reccently
1. AAA! more than one actually.
2. hepatomeg short case
3. clerked a patient with appendicitis
4. learnt that you should always check the level of pitting oedema
5. saw catheterization
6. an enlarged prostate is >20g
7. the PSA should be <1 in a normal male
8. percussed a full bladder [quite common in uro clinics cos they have to drink a lot of water for the uroflow.everyone sounded v traumatised abt this]
9. felt a hard irregular prostate
10. bgit mx
11. how to test for rebound tenderness & ask specifically for it [something i admit i have never done ever before in a physical examination]
12. sent off a blood tube in ice!

random note:
dear God, thank you for the people you have placed in my life at strategic places to wake me up, and to give me encouragement that because of the people it comes from, i know is coming from you through them. thank you also events in the past that have proved to mean more than they did at the time, and thank you also for times when i talk to people as fellow human beings and get to know them better :)

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

had SUCH a good experience with urology clinics today!! :) the doctor i was assigned to was really very nice, and was v keen on teaching, seriously best teaching thus far in this 1.5 weeks of surg. he even let me take history in clinic although unfortunately erm... the patient was asymptomatic LOL so quite hard to elicit the... symptoms?

things learnt/ seen today
1. management of splenectomy post trauma [at trauma rounds]
2. hepatomegaly short case [thanks to the kind ho who let me know abt it]
3. how to identify IO on an AXR/ how to identify small/large bowel at all hahaha
4. extracorporeal shock wave lithotripsy for bladder stones
5. transrectal biopsy of the prostate
6. approach to RIF pain/ appendicitis/ diverticulitis
7. approach to haematuria
8. finally learnt how to read bladder/ kidney ultrasound scans coz there were 9 patients in the afternoon clinic and the dr did u/s for all of them!
9. FINALLY BALLOTED A KIDNEY!
10. read hydronephrosis [correctly] on an ultrasound scan
11. urinary stones + treatment, conservative/ surgical etc/ BPH
12. did like 3-4 PRs [more than the total i've ever done in my LIFETIME]

Monday, March 5, 2012

it's a piece of cake


ps i know i keep talking about this cake, it's because a) i have no time to do anything other than drool over other people's yummy baked goods, i dont have time to experiment in the kitchen and hunt down my mixer and ingredients on a regular basis b) people keep asking me to make for them!

so this week, it makes a reappearance; lets hope all goes well! the plan is tmr after uro clinic ends, to rush home & do this. maybe i'll be done by eight and then i can work on my surg writeup!

hai i wish i had time to make this mango colada muffin thingy i bookmarked ages ago. i even have mangoes at home. when life gives you mangoes, make mango muffins... all id need would be coconut milk!

or maybe i should make chocolate chip orange muffins, or maybe i should make chocolate chip oatmeal cupcakes with cinnamon sugared chip frosting. or maybe i should just go and sleep now so i can wake up at 6am to go rounding tmr. btw i just found out my cg mate wakes up at 5am and i wake up at 7am regularly ARGH


and to prove i am hardworking yo: i watched a lap chole today + clerked cases of pancreatitis, PUD, gastric ca, and gallstones [i was really confused coz i mixed up the bed/ward numbers when giving yj the case to clerk so i kept asking the pt abt his gastritis instead "UNCLE, SURE NO GASTRITIS? WEI SUAN! do you have gastritis? any gastric meds??]

anyway, here goes the recipe

magic yummy chocolate cake :)
4 oz dark/ bittersweet chocolate [substituting semi sweet hersheys baking chocolate]

1/2 cup butter
3/4 cup sugar
3 large eggs
1 & 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 cup cocoa powder [substituting highfat choc powder thingy]

1. preheat oven to 375F
2. line 8 inch cake pan w/ baking paper
3. melt chocolate & butter
4. pour choc & butter into sugar, whisk
5. beat in eggs one at a time
6. add vanilla, cocoa powder
7. bake 25mins

Sunday, March 4, 2012

hello to myself

chanced upon this song from the dream high 2 ost, and its ... SPOT ON.  feels like a letter i could have written in the past to my future self, ie me now hehe. as the song says - "how is it to fulfil your dream/ is it sometimes boring because it's become a normal routine for you/ if you ever get lonely and tired/ will you remember me who used to dream here". SO TRUE, SO TRUE.

i cant promise, past self, that i will ALWAYS be happy to the point where my heart overflows. this is pretty awesome, but i can't live life skipping through the fields of sunflowers. at some point you need to accept that you are grateful a million times over and just... buckle down to it. but just take it from me, past self, that i'm really close to the dream now. and for everything that has happened thus far, i believe that God will bring me all the way to it.

but i can promise that i will remember the dreams that eighteen year old dreamt, and do everything that person felt was so impossible and far away. and that sometimes, like when God gives me the miracles i now know to trust him for, i will definitely be happy to the point that my cup overflows with joy. :) ps it was pretty cool when you won that debate so if you still feel angst abt sec sch debates just know that God has something really really nice planned for you later on ;)

hello to myself by ye eun (wonder girls)
where are you; how close are you

to the dream that i wanted so bad
here, i'm still falling and crying again
i'm hurt and tired and have no strength to get up
but you would probably see me and smile
will you comfort me, saying don't cry?
will you tell me that i can do it

how are you - how is it to fulfil your dream?
doesnt it hurt when you pinch yourself
or is it sometimes boring
because it's become a normal routine for you?
if you ever get lonely and tired
will you remember me, who used to dream here

will you think of me here and smile
hello to myself, hello to myself
will you be happy to the point where your heart overflows

a child asked, what is the grass?

whoever you are holding me now in hand
walt whitman

without one thing, all will be useless
the way is suspicious, the result uncertain

but just possibily with you on a high hill -
or possibly with you sailing at sea, or on the beach
of the sea, or some quiet island,

but these leaves conning, you con at peril,
for these leaves, and me, you will not understand,

for it is not for what i have put into it that I
have written this book,
nor is it by reading it you will acquire it

nor will my poems do good only - they will do
just as much evil, perhaps more;

therefore release me and depart on your way
~

poem of the day! literally, this is the first thing that landed in my inbox this morning, thanks to poets.org.

right now, all i know about life is that... i am going to watch sleeping beauty in dec.

PLANS
sun - finish writeup
mon - DRIVE MYSELF TO SGH. OT?! tut.
tues - uro clinics, exciting radio tutorial, buy chocolate cake materials from holland v
wed - tuts, BAKE CHOCOLATE CAKE, finish up writeup for real.
thurs - uro clinics all day long + dinnerparty @ night
fri -  hand up writeup!
sat - uro clinics (omg on a sat. oh well i remember when i used to work at sgh before med school i wanted to be a urologist haha coz of this female urologist who wrote this extremely entertaining blog. i think it's urostream.blogspot.com. lol i hope you're thrilled, eighteen year old past self. but it's okay! i like doing things! i hatee walking up and down the hallways of the hospital aimlessly waiting for ward rounds/ poking my head into random MO rooms in hopeful search of people.)
sun - study breast examination/ chapter in andre tan/ burkitts

nextmon - new team! apparently this team is very nice ++

next few weeks
- try to get paeds project [follow up on existing lead, pressurize people who are supposed to help me get new lead, etc etc]
- try for korea [email different people in hopes they will reply my email]
did i mention i hate electives?
- try to revise ortho hahahahaha
- ask glenn about combattraining... sooon! today maybe. ah i dont know man. i think i do want it, but it's just how to BALANCE MY LIFE around it. also the thing about how i might suck at it, but whatever maN. i suppose i can do it 1-2x per week. okay that sounds like a lot. maybe once a week. that might take me like one year to recoup the cost HAHAh. i suppose i can wear my biking gloves, that saves me from buying gloves. also how to keep in my memory extra stuff. also AURGHHH okay i'll just go for the training if they'll let me teamteach AFTER exams. aurgh what if i fail the evals [what fail the evals, i am SUPERWOMAN rmb i haven't failed anything in a looong time since like... PHYSICS, and MATHS and btw i got 4.0 for maths in the end clearly i can do anything i put my mind to]. anyway, there's not much diff whether i am doing the combat class, or giving the combat class. i guess i'll just sign up for fun & if the timing is right, & they really need more people & they're nice about the timetabling i'll actually do it for reals. because i mean come on, you dont ever regret that you did too much, you only regret that you didnt do cool stuff. so. yes. soon. i will.

sorry world if you're reading this, must be v boring, however i really need to be accountable to myself since left to my own devices i would basically be vegetating at home watching dramas or something, the only time i actually enthusiastically study/ clerk patients/ have a clear idea of my lifeplans was like... during paeds posting. the rest of the time is just.... bumming through life.

baking plans
1. sugar cookies MUST MAKE SOON before the piping tip/ cookie cutters dissappear.
2. chocolate cake ditto, also hello we need to eat it on thurs

other plans
1. learn korean
2. learn french (survival strat come may/june)

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Zebra crossaints, combat & feeling tempted to do surg... The only thing stopping me is i feel i will die if i cant run/ do combat and surg is like the most busy specialty everrr. But o heart the text so much i want to sleep with it under my pillow i know that currently i feel stressed by the culture but i dont know, i pride myself on having, under all the fluff, a ridiculously hard and determined personality. How far do i wanna take this? Anyway. More chocolatey baking coming up this week. I should just be a baker. And electives stress me out NO END

Friday, March 2, 2012

surgical tutor

i LOVE surgical tutor dot org dot uk!!

in other news, this morning had journal club, then rounds, then clerked five cases in quick succession with a post call yingjie (that girl is amazing, what can i say...).
my good!patient who made my day yest even tho he wasnt even there... was there today! to my pleasant surprise he was really friendly and was a TOTALLY UNCLERKED PATIENT, like no med student has ever clerked him!!!!! omg i almost died of shock. usually this kind of patient is swamped w med students!! okay not that i can pick up the physical finding despite the fact that i know its supposed to be there. one day, one day... and he is super bored ; walking all round the ward. LOL. patient ambulating ++

also my mentor assigned me a case for writeup and i CLERKED THAT CASE wow wonders will never cease.

random funny thing, yj was telling me that her team was pimping them abt colon anatomy
"what's behind the ascending colon?"
"erm... er... uhhhh"
"have you ever heard of the kidney?"

HAHA

Thursday, March 1, 2012

pipedreams

the 6am wakeup calls are starting aurgh

but today started out pretty well, with an interesting m&m & watching an intra-op video of a gastric bypass! [except the part where i practically got a haematoma from the car door hitting my tibia as i was getting out at 6.58am hahah. and except the whole waking up at 6am thing]

thenn followed the whirlwind ward round, i really do like the intricacies of this particular constellation of organ systems! and i find curtain pulling stressful coz i nv know when to pull the curtain and when to pull it back. so most of the time its me causing the curtain to billow uncomfortably & get into the eyes/ hair/ hand/ general way of the HO/ everyone else.

and then followed a fun time trying to stalk my mentor, sorry i mean actually locating the place he was at. first i established it was a place called ABC, then had to go round asking everyone what is ABC. then i had to FIND ABC. by this time, i felt stressed, so i went to jollibean to buy a pandan thing. then i found that yj and sy were staked out at ABC looking for hernia cases, so joyfully i went to join them. so then i had to find out exactly where in ABC, as in which OT my mentor was in, then where to change into scrubs, etc. and then at this juncture the nurse informs me that the op is almost over so there's not much point joining. zzz. anyway this is all just to say that i spend most of my time going around in circles hunting for my team/ HO/ mentor/ team lists and usually i dont find anyone/ anything so people probo think i'm slacking off. gah. but like i told hy, it could be worse, i could be playing world of warcraft on the comp!

to continue the story, sy and yj have given up and targeted a 1230 case, so they went to med student lounge to lounge around first [presumably] so after wandering around lostly for a bit, and meeting c who informs me he is on his way to the lawyer's office?!! loll i go and crash their hernia-clerking prep/ have lunch with them. i think they were slightly horrified at the thought of 3 of us all clerking this person who i mean may not even consent to ANYONE clerking him/her at all, but they were pretty nice about it i must say. but anyway at 12 noon my sister cg calls to surprise us with a vascular tutorial -_- so no hernia clerking for anyone LOL

then we had a pretty awesome vascular tutorial with an extremely nice tutor, and then a surprisingly quick surgical scrub revision, and then i finally work up the courage to call my tutor after eavesdropping on how other pple talk to their tutors on the phone *stress* and i find out that they have JUST EXITED

zzzzz at 3pm?! so then i bum around & clerk a patient so lousily that i dont even ask her for her past medical hx, and i thought she had ca of one system but actually she had ca of a TOTALLY DIFF SYSTEM. and at 5, nearly dying of exhaustion/ sadness at my inefficacy and inability to actually follow my tutors around/ clerk patients like a gd medical student or even LOG IN TO THE COMP SYSTEM, i open a file randomly and chance upon THE BEST CASE LIKE EVER. that's the good bit. the not so gd bit is the patient was not actually there at that point in time hahaha but yknow if hes walking around chances are he is lucid/ young/ energetic enough/ friendly enough to answer my qns. ok it gets better, so then i see some of my team regs around the area, PLUS MY MENTOR OMG JACKPOT, and then it turns out they are doing a 2nd exit round with the consultant omg super jackpot yay. okay so its not like the most enlightening round of all time but i honestly felt such extreme achievement you wouldnt believe it hahaha. and then i came home on the v shiny new circle line & made it for yoga & then submitted my edits for the article that i have to help write for the debate. EFFICIENCY ++

yes thus was my v exciting (not) day.

aims for my remainder 1 week + 1 day in this team
1. draw curtains faster HAHAA
2. watch at least 1 whipple!!
3. actually watch an op in the same OT as my mentor [this is more difficult than i thought, through no fault of his but genuinely due to my own general inefficacy]

goodnight folks